Talking with a woman client recently, she shared with me her concern around asking for a pay rise, and what she knew to be her worth without sounding "needy, greedy, or that she was holding them over a "barrel".
It's a common question we're asked, which I'm sharing with you because a lot of traditional advice tells you to simply ask for what you want, and go after what you know to be your worth, without giving due attention to any of the key subtleties involved, including research revealing when women use strategies often admired in men there can be a degree of backlash (if you'd like to know more on this research, please let me know).
This leaves the question remaining of, how exactly do you ask for a pay rise when you've done your homework, you're good at what you do, and you know you're worth it?
For one vital tip that can really work well in asking for what you want, while obtaining your desired results, and in a way that feels comfortable to you, watch the video below. Press Play >>
Just in the same way introverts and extroverts perform better at work using different strategies, asking women to use "alpha-male" ways (like beating fists on chests, or using big elements of bravado) to get what they want can backfire. Why? Two key reasons, and there's probably more.
First off, using such strategies don't work for most women (as our clients regularly share with us), because they make them feel inauthentic and uncomfortable. Subsequently, because women feel such a level of discomfort, they give off signals that are counter-productive to their words. In combination with differing degrees of societal conditioning that suggest women are "supposed" to be kind and caring, it can mean you don't get the results you want following an "alpha-male" route.
Meaning if you know you're worth more in your role, and/or capable of a new role or promotion as we start 2018, but don't feel comfortable going in beating your chest with bravado around your worth, or alternatively, when you've tried such a strategy, it felt somewhat icky and didn't get you the results you wanted long term, then here's the tip to use.
It's not simply about what you've achieved or how you've met KPI (key performance indicators), you need to show your boss that you care. Caring can be well expressed by taking the time to know your boss' communication style and how specifically your KPI helps her or him. In other words, what's in it for her or him. This will steer the best way to discuss your achievements, and communicate your value for the raise or promotion you want without sounding "needy" or "greedy".
For example, if what you've achieved relates directly to their personal goals, and how they're rewarded/promoted at work, and you communicate that in a way that makes sense for their communication style, this will win you a whole lot more points than simply talking about your own achievements. It also shows them that you care.
By communicating your value with grace and consideration to their broader goals, including what they want going forward, and how you are vital to helping them achieve that, they are more likely to give you what you ask for! This already assumes you've done your homework and have a general sense of your market worth.
If you would like more specific help on how you can use a range of tools to communicate your value in a way that feels authentic to you as a woman, so you get the role, promotion or raise you want for 2018, you are welcome to book in a complimentary chat with me here. Alternatively, my contact details are here. Have a great week, I look forward to catching up with you again soon.